Home: Blog: 2006-03-01End This Madness!

Enough light hearted banter. It's time to turn to darker matters.

Why oh why do people assume that it makes sense to encourage small children to poke themselves in the eye with sharp sticks? Surely I cannot be the only one who sees the danger inherent in this bizarre process?

1. The stick is sharp. It is perfectly capable of causing injury.

2. The eye is a sensitive organ, not designed to accomodate radically tapered objects.

3. Moving the stick rapidly into the eye is one of the procedures most likely to cause just such an unfortunate and painful conjunction.

I say, stamp it out now. If you see a parent giving their child a sharp stick, and making instructive movements from hand to eye to prompt mimicry in their offspring, just wade in there and break it up.

Then write to your representative, Member of Parliament, or Congressman, and make your position clear.

Simply edit the following letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I write to tell you that I am completely opposed to the practice of encouraging children to poke themselves in the eye with sharp sticks.

Yours faithfully,

(Your name here)

Together we can end this child/eye/sharp stick blot on our society.

Manny